Meaningful quotes (to me) from the book:
“Every time we find ourselves arguing, debating, running away, or otherwise acting in an ineffective way, it’s because we don’t know how to share meaning. Instead of engaging in healthy dialogue, we play silly and costly games.”
“In order to justify an especially sordid behavior, we suggest that we’re caught between two distasteful options. Either we can be honest and attack our spouse, or we can be kind and withhold the truth. Either we can disagree with the boss to help make a better choice – and get shot for it – or we can remain quiet, starve the pool, and keep our job. Pick your poison. What makes these Sucker’s Choices is that they’re always set up as the only two options available. It’s the worst of either/or thinking. The person making the choice never suggests there’s a third option that doesn’t call for unhealthy behavior. For example, maybe there’s a way to be honest and respectful. Perhaps we can express our candid opinion to our boss and be safe. Those offering up a Sucker’s Choice either don’t think of a third (and healthy) option – in which case it’s an honest but tragic
mistake – or set up the false dichotomy as a way of justifying their unattractive actions. ‘I’m sorry, but I just had to destroy the guy’s self-image if I was going to keep my integrity. It wasn’t pretty, but it was the right thing to do.’”
When is the last time you had a ‘Crucial Conversation?” Is there something you’ve been putting off for weeks, months? Deal with it, this week (!) staying calm, open, and following the road map from Crucial Conversations. Here’s to improving all of our interactions, one by one. Have a great week, team!