Hello from BabyLand! Baby Lily has proven herself to be a model baby. She eats constantly and sleeps the rest of the time. I’ve made it into work a few times (woo hoo!) and that’s been exciting. I do love me some soap lab time and I miss my Brambleberrians when I’m home. It all depends on how the evening goes on if I make it into the office (with Lily, of course). Nighttime ranges between really great (woo hoo! Feeding at 11, 2 and 5!) and horrible (boo hiss! feeding at 11, 12, 1, 3, and 5 or any combo in between).
Miss Lily has developed a minor diaper rash, no matter how many times we change her diaper and try to keep her dry. We’ve done Gloves in a Bottle to lay down a protective silicone skin protector, Desitin, naked time (for the record, every single naked time has ended up with pooping or peeing on Mommy or the protective blankets). This is a typical baby thing; they have such sensitive skin. But, it’s sad and stressful to see.
Her brother is in the middle of the ‘Terrific Twos’ (eh hem). I swear, he has a temper tantrum about something almost every day. He doesn’t want a band aid on his bleeding toe. He doesn’t want to say ‘Please.’ He is upset that we are not letting him pour green kale (staining!) juice all over the floor. You name it, he’s flailed on about it. It’s challenging on sleep-deprived Chris and I. We haven’t figured out the best reaction – come down hard and discipline? Try to be patient? Diversion? We have been trying almost every suggestion from this blog post and so far, the ‘Mama’s Helper’ idea has resonated the best with him.
Grandma came up for an ENTIRE WEEK and saved my life. She did such an amazing job taking care of Jamisen, the garden, the house and ME. Jamisen asked for her several mornings after she left. He will be so happy when she arrives back next week to visit and help out for a few days. We are lucky to have her support (and all the Grandparents!).
He loves our reading time and graciously allows Lily to sit with us. He really has turned into a voracious reader and adores reading time. He plops up onto the bed, and grabs 15 or so books, piling them onto the bed one by one, and then we read a few books. He tries to get one more book, “Just one more! One more!” before having to go to bed every single night. We read every morning, before naptime and before bedtime.
I just ordered some truck books (He is obsessed with trucks!) and am considering making them prizes for peeing and pooping in the toilet (10 stickers = 1 book?). Maybe little toy cars at 5 stickers and then 10 stickers gets a book? I’m open to suggestions. Any great potty training ideas to help us out? He’s 25 months old so in theory, now is about the time we can start this process.
We’re looking forward to a great rest of the weekend. We traipsed to the Farmer’s Market this morning and have a play date today with his little friend Sasha. His Mommy, Heather, helped plant our garden (actual shot of the chard above) so we’re going to send her home with lots of these amazing veggies. We have more than we could ever use! And, we like to teach the valuable concept about sharing so it’s a win-in.
And, back to that potty training … got any ideas? Tell me (save me!). I’d love to hear them. It takes a village, or in this case, an entire blog to help me on this fun working mommy journey. =)
Juli Miller says
Your little ones are so cute! You are very blessed. I love seeing your pics.
As for diaper rash.. I found using my own homemade wipe solution was very helpful. I use a huggies wipe container and use jersey cotton cloths cut and folded. They are soft amd you use less!!
The solution I use only lasts for no more than a week. Here is my recipe:
2 cups boiled water cooled down, but still warm.
2 tbsp coconut oil
2 tbsp aloe gel
1.5 tbsp dr. Bronners mild castille soap
3-4 capsules vit e
2 tbsp pure witchazel ( no alcohol )
Mix up all together, pour over cloth wipes. All done!
Gets rid of rash pronto! And no burning!
Good luck potty training… I have a 21 month old, we will be working on that shortly! I loved all the advise!
I have 3 and am the oldest of 11. Definitely give the potty training a break, i.e. only if he brings up the idea. Part of the temper tantrums could be too much change at once. At 2 they REALLY don’t like change, even of they like the reason (baby sibling) for the change. You and your husband are too tired to do justice to potty training right now and you need to all get used to being a larger family. This process takes time, so don’t feel guilty for taking all of the time that your family needs. Also when you feel ready I would definitely recommend going to cloth underwear. That was the only thing that worked with my oldest, and he was almost 4 before he got the message.
For the diaper rash, I would recommend a cornstarch baby powder that includes aloe and vitamin e. If the rash is not yeast it will work wonders. If you are not sure if it is yeast but want something to try, add about a 1/4 cup of baking soda to your daughters bath water. It will not hurt even if she is raw and it will help kill the yeast. I have a friend who had the same problem with her daughter and it cleared up when she switched to cloth diapers.
I hope that something here helps.
If you do go to cloth , and use bleach to help clean ( or oxi clean ) then 2nd rinse them in white vinegar and throw a felt ball with some lavendar on it in during drying…
Some children are just allergic to the chemicals in diapers. We ended up using cloth on both of our boys. As for pottytraining boys. Hummm….. As my pediatrician said don’t stress over it and he won’t go to college in diapers. lol. Try fruitloops in the toilet for aiming at or wait til summer and let him go naked. My youngest learned to pee outside with the dog. it was not funny then but it sure is now
Oh potty training! My son was probably close to 3 before I got him fully potty trained. He did not have a problem with going number 1 – but number 2 in the potty – oh my. He just hated to stop whatever he was doing to go. I put him into underwear – but he still would rather poop in his pants than use the bathroom. I tried bribing him with candy and books. Finally, I found the right toy (called alpha-bots). I told him that he could only get an alpha-bot if he did #2 in the potty. He wanted that toy so badly that he went on the potty. I had bought 3 alpha-bots. And by the end of three days he was potty trained! It really is a battle of wills.
Enjoy all of these moments, cause time will fly by very quickly. Before you know it, he will be a teenager and you will not be able to get him out of the bathroom!
Potty training is a tough one! I have 4 kids with the earliest (girl) at 24 months and the latest (boy) at 39 months. With my youngest little guy (turned 3 May 24th) I took a very laid back approach. Bought cool undies that he picked out and let him go to the bathroom with everyone else in the house. I tried to slap him on the potty first thing in the morning with a favorite book so he could get the idea- seemed to work. Number 2 was achieved by throwing away a well liked pair of underwear- making soap is more important than washing poopy undies- and the bribe of a wanted toy. All said and done about a week and age 32 months. I do think they have to be willing and ready. Older siblings help so next time around will be a breeze 🙂
Gorgeous family! You are truly blessed Anne Marie!
I can’t say much about the potty training, but the tantrums I can attest to… My little guy will be 2 in August. He started the ‘terribles’ (as my dad calls them) at 18 months. He love, love, loves to be outside and he *use* to throw 10-20 minute tantrums when we came in. This might sound cruel but it only took 3 times to get rid of this behavior: an 8 oz glass of ice cold tap water. After 10 minutes of screaming in the boot room I threw a full glass of water in his face, it shocked him but not quite enough to snap him out of it. I waited another 3-5 minutes while he continued screaming asking him to stop and come eat, he refused to stop screaming so he got a second glass of the cold water. He still didn’t stop for another 3 minutes. When I asked him if he wanted another glass, he sobbingly shook his head and came to cuddle. I dried him off, cuddled him, fed him, and put him down for his nap. He hasn’t thrown a full scale 20 minute tantrum since and no babies were harmed in the tossing of water.
We got our daughter her own personal toilet that she named Sunny Days and decorated with paint markers. And a special doll that would do a little potty dance to show her how to sit on the potty seat. Show a couple of those title kid potty videos and it will work Ike a charm. If you have him in disposables, lose them for cloth as kids can’t feel the wetness.
Trust me they will learn quickly its more fun going in the toilet than sitting in wet cloth.
I would have to agree with you Nancy. Cloth is definately the way to go. At first it seems like all you get done is clean up the floor, but they pick up on wet cloth much quicker since it doesn’t wick the moisture away like single use diapers do. Since you have a new little one to keep up with also, the plastic covers might be a good option for you.
Regarding the diaper rash for miss Lily, if it doesn’t clear up with OTC barrier creams, you might check with the Doc, it could be a yeast infection. My son would get those quite frequently, and I thought it was something that I was doing/not doing, but it turns out he is lactose intolerant. I cut all dairy from my diet and it helped tremendously.
Thank You Anne Marie for the beautiful pics, they bring all of us back to those sleep-deprived, yet glorious days with our own little babes.
My younger brother did quite well in cloth, but my sister’s children all had extremely sensitive skin. My sister would wash the diapers in hot water with bleach and in spite of using two or three rinses, her babies would still get diaper rash. It wasn’t until she used disposables that the rashes stopped. Some babies are just more sensitive than others and what works for one does not always work for another.
I applaud cloth because it does not fill up the landfills, but some babies just don’t tolerate it.
My first son had no problems potty traininbut when we got to the second son, it seemed like nothing worked! We were in toysr us one day and saw a potty watch. You can set it for whatever time you want and it goes off singing the potty time song. We set ours for every half an hour. After a week he was fully trained. It was the best money ever spent. He would run to the bathroom and go everytime it went off and he loved it!
Your family is just gorgeous! I remember those first days, no two babies are alike!! I just wanted to give youa few ideas, I have 4 children, age 6-21. Three of them have severe nut allergy, so we really had to watch what was in diaper and skin products. BB has almond oil in it, and there are others. Also, we found that when all 4 were little, I couldn’t eat any dairy. It would give them a huge rash. They all grew out of it, in 3-6 mos. my oldest was the most allergies, I could not eat nut, peanuts, dairy, eggs. It was tough but worth having a calm baby. Try a basic elimination diet. If its not that it could be yeast. Take a good probiotic ( not milk based). We have used GSE solely to get rid of yeast. I would get very low dose (for you) and start slow. You can get in drops, put 1 drop in an empty capsule. See how it goes. Also never use cornstarch in diaper area, since it is usually GMO, and it is a food product so it will feed yeast. Sorry to run on, I hope this helps. I’m sure you already know about spicy and cruciferous vegetables causing trouble. Bless you and your family, it will get better!!!
What worked best for our 2 sons was to have them go into the bathroom with their dad everytime he had to pee and this worked so well that both of the boys were completely potty trained before they were 2 years old. If memory serves me correctly they were about 21 1/2 months old when we no longer needed diapers!!! Everytime they used the potty I would clap my hands and let them know they did a great job and that made them feel proud of themselves and would say I’m a big boy mommy.. I know my method is not for everyone; however, for us it worked as well as some of our friends. I trained one of our friends son who was not pleased about using the big boy’s toilet, it took me less than a month to have him completely potty trained his mom (my friend) had been trying for months with no success and she was so happy when he said mommy I’m a big boy!!!
Boudreaux’s Butt Paste always worked well for us. There are also recipes online for mixing Desitin with other lotions/balms that enhanced its effectiveness.
The one that worked the utmost best for us was called Resinol. It’s available OTC at the pharmacy; it’s a burn cream. Clears up diaper rash lickety split.
My younger brother got diaper rash occasionally and mom used to sit him in a bath of lukewarm water and baking soda, something you should have around from making bath fizzies! The baking soda neutralizes the urine and leaves baby’s skin clean and soft. She followed up with Desitin ointment, but a thin layer of Bag Balm (as mentioned by another comment) might work as well. I know that talcum powder is now a no-no, but cornstarch-based powders, used very sparingly and being careful to get in the creases, can be quite useful in drying baby’s skin before a clean diaper is put on. Be sure that the powder is not so thick it would “clump” even a little bit when it gets wet or worse.
At potty training time, my brother responded very well to “special” undergarments, with the idea that if he urinated in them, they would be spoiled.
You have given Jamison a lovely little sister, and Lily has a most attractive older brother, though she doesn’t know it yet! What a beautiful family you have!
Merryn Oliveira says
My son used to get diaper rash so bad he would get a yeast infection and it would take 3 prescription meds and lots of white diaper cream to make it better. My daughter – almost no diaper rash. With my son his pediatrician told us that it was just his gentle skin and it happens to some babies.
I took to making my own diaper cream for him because we found that the higher the amount of zinc the better it worked but could not find one high enough on a regular basis that didn’t have that fishy smell.
I can’t find my original recipe (since I haven’t needed it for my daughter) but it was lanolin, shea butter, castor oil, vitamin e, zinc oxide (at 50% of the total recipe) and then I used lavender and tea tree EO’s. It really sticks well to the skin, covers well and doesn’t leave us with the fishy smell and I found that it really worked for us. It’s a pretty stiff cream (almost balm), and we had to keep it in a jar as it wouldn’t come out of a tube.
I’ll keep digging for the recipe for you.
Odette Handley says
She looks darling! I feel for you being sleep deprived and have no suggestions. I am sure she will settle into a routine – we hope for your sake. Maybe her big brother can talk some sense into her.
I have a friend who has twins and i do remember tantrums. I will find out how they dealt with it. I seem to remember a naughty corner. I think it worked well because it can be at any place, anywhere as long as they are separated from everyone else and have no toys etc they soon learn they have done wrong.
So many wonderful comments. thanks for sharing babies with us. wow, happy times. I remember the fatigue, the neediness of new siblings( not the baby) and the contentment and joy. So happy for you and chris.
rash that lasts more than a few changes could be yeast or strep/staph…or a reaction to something you are eating ( in la leche – they used to joke about the ABC;s…asparagus, broccoli, cabbage…these cause gas, too…and some are really sensitive to strawberries and tomatos…sigh ) newborns poop so , so often too ! we loved butt paste , too…but if it doesn’t clear up soon, ( and it isn’t yeast, or staph ) use dreft, and change diaper brand again…or use cloth…we loved them…
Now , I will agree with a few commenters and ask you to put potty training on hold for a few months. Tiny sister, and jamison just want calm , happy, proud mommy…no expectations for a bit until baby has a little more routine …We are all still in celebration mode !
( We have 8 boys and they all trained themselves before they were 3. ) cool big boy undies with spiderman, or cars all over them were worn every morning ..o the joy of it…when it got wet, a plain thick white one was used until mommy could do the laundry. a natural consequence . ( the others were put away somewhere ..I know they come in packs of 3 ) BUT this was after it became super apparent he was ready…
we tried everything for the first few until I figured out ‘ I ‘ did not want to be potty trained !! I just did not care that much …they really will do it themselves…
my girls trained themselves much earlier than the boys…so you have that to look forward to. 🙂
temper could be due to excitement and tiredness, and no where to put his awesome energy while mommy recuperates… and Jamisons real need to feel proud of himself , so you will notice and be proud of him, too…( I may not be using politically correct verbiage here) An easy puzzle , scrubbing carrots on a chair by the sink, tearing lettuce for the salad, pouring glasses of water from a small plastic pitcher for daddy and mommy and himself for dinner…accomplishment !! ( hopefully, eventually that transfers to picking up toys and jacket etc…) Finally, lots of active time…dancing , and to the park etc…(hoorah ! for granma coming back !! )
pipettes and colored water were a marvel for this age, ( primary colors in styrofoam egg cartons…and after lots of mixing…learning to drop col water onto coffee filters etc) and copying small block constructions you or chris make …start with 3 …move up to 6 or so…oh the loveliness and agility of their minds at this age !!! Thank God you read aloud to him, what a gift !
laurie c in st louis.
Congratulations! My daughter’s name is Lily too. She is almost 10, but I still remember what we used for diaper rash. It’s called Triple Paste. You might have to get it behind the counter. It is expensive, but it works.
Have you tried “Triple Paste” diaper cream for Lilly’s rash? It never failed for my twins when they were infants – our Walmart has it, as well as the local grocery! When potty training the boys at 3, they were very pleased to do it for the sticker chart we set up for them…simple little reinforcement. It only took them 3-5 days including pooping on the potty too;) Best of luck to you!! Love the beautiful pics–
Autumn Burgess says
I didn’t have time to read all the above comments (thanks to my own little terrors) so if this is a repeat I apologize. We too cloth diapered our youngest and rarely got diaper rash but when we did we used just straight coconut oil. It was safe for cloth diaper fibers but of course can be used with disposables. And i’m pretty sure you have an endless supply of it!! Best wishes.
Float Cheerios in the toilet for something to take aim at. I wish my husband would have let my son follow him into the bathroom more often. He was almost 4 before he was completely potty trained. Best of luck!
Amanda Venne says
What adorable pictures! I have a two year old at home and I am going through the potty training and wonderful tantrums part now too…yay…. 😉 I do not have any advice as my daughter still thinks a potty chair is a ridiculous concept, but I found this article that pokes fun of a toddlers tantrums, its pretty funny and it always made me laugh when my daughter was in one of her “moments”… here’s the link, enjoy! 🙂
Melody J says
I have some amazing balm for diaper rash. It’s all natural–100% and it works so well! IF you want the information on it, let me know. I don’t make it–I get it from an herb shop nearby!
I started potty training my 2.5 year old at 2. No dice. Now, I let him go without a diaper—because that is the ONLY time he will use a potty. So we stick close to home a lot because of this!
Heather Quinn says
Have you seen this article on temper tantrums: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/05/143062378/whats-behind-a-temper-tantrum-scientists-deconstruct-the-screams It is pretty interesting, if not a little hair raising, to listen to it.
If you figure out the potty training, be sure to share. We’ve tried stickers, toys, cheerios target practice and many of the other suggestions. He would dribble just enough to earn a reward and then stop (and soil himself immediately after getting the reward). My son is 3 1/2 years old now and just recently decided to go pee. He rarely has an accident. All we had to do was stop talking about it for a while. Unfortunately, this doesn’t include bowel movements. No amount of inducement or bribery will get him to go. He’ll sit on the potty “reading” for 20 minutes with no progress and immediately after getting dressed, go number 2.
Don’t worry…in the end they all train themselves sooner or later. Some sooner, some later.
You can try reverse psychology: “No, this potty is special and I don’t want you to poop in it!”. If he insists on using it then it’s pretty much a control issue on his part. If he does not care, he probably just isn’t ready. Wait a bit and bring it up later.
If all else fails, the first day of Kindergarten will cure him fast!!! Lol
mk sudds says
I potty trained my 15 month old son by, getting a potty chair ( with lid) and having him just sit on it in front of the tv while watching his favorite program. During my lunch brake I would go to the arcade and win 1 ticket 2 ticket and 3 ticket toys that he would enjoy playing with. When he was ready to sit on the seat (without the lid) I would give him a 1 ticket toy for going potty, a 2 ticket toy for having a bowel movement and a 3 ticket toy for doing both. I had a large bag of toys and he got to choose which toy he got out of the appropriate bag. I also made a very big deal over his accomplishment. I hope this will work for you! good luck
These are some of the most wonderful and toughest times of you life, take heart and enjoy. For the rash, I second the hair dryer, and bag balm. It’s petroleum based, but it was the best that I could find 16 years ago(yikes!). I’m sure there are some natural ones that will work as good, with my second we tried Burt’s Bees, it worked, but the bag balm was the best.
I was in the same situation, boy starting his two’s when my girl was born, getting the boy to be my helper worked the best, he really liked helping with his little sister. For potty training my boy, after much frustration, we took some time off and then read “Everybody Poops!” every night, then we found a toy he really wanted, a Thomas track set, and set it up high near the bathroom (seeing it there was the key), he collected stars on a chart towards that goal, I think he had to be dry for two weeks, Eventually he worked his way to it. The best advice is that with kids things always change, and then you wonder why you stressed about it so much. Relax and have fun with your beautiful little ones!
I found potty training to be very easy. I waited until they were ready and didn’t impose it on them because “I was ready.” We had very few accidents and things went very smoothly.
Wait for indications that the little man is ready-he want’s to wear big boy underwear,he has control and knows when he needs to go etc. I rewarded with lots, and lots of clapping and praise-we did so well,and it was much easier than giving up the thumb.My son had a couple if night time accidents with which he got up at night and pulled his little sheets off,changed underwear and went back to sleep.
My advice it to really wait until he initiates the potty training, and it sounds like he is very close.
Holly -Missouri River Soap says
She’s beautiful Anne-Marie! These first weeks are certainly trying but also so wonderful. Have you tried using a cool/warm blow dryer on Lily’s diaper rash? That was the greatest tip we ever received from the nurse at our doctors office. It worked on the umbilical cord and it worked great for diaper rashes. After every bath and diaper change wipe, we made sure to dry the area thoroughly before putting any rash cream on. Our favorite cream was the one from Burt’s Bees by the way. As for potty training, I learned that it is best not to rush the toddler or the parents. If one or the other isn’t ready, it isn’t going to go well. If the message just isn’t getting through, maybe wait a month and give it another go. We did that with child 2 and child 3 and it made a world of difference over working with child 1. Just don’t stress that it has to be done at any certain time. Each child has their perfect time. Best wishes Anne-Marie! You’ll work your way with it all because mamma’s know best!
What a sweet family! Oh, I remember those 5 (6, 7?)-feeding nights very well. Not my favorite part of having newborns, but they do grow out of it!
Potty training…was very different for my two kids. My daughter couldn’t have been easier. She watched a video (“It’s Potty Time”) and within a few weeks she was completely trained, no accidents, no fussing, end of story. The kids still remember the songs from the video (they’re pretty catchy!), so be warned you may be singing about Super Duper Poopers for years to come.
My son was much less interested in training. When I tried to force the issue, it did not go over well. He had to do it on his own time. Patience is the hardest part of this.
Enjoy this time with them! Everyone always told me that it goes by fast and I couldn’t wait for them to be bigger and out of diapers or whatever, but my kids are 13 and almost 15 now, and it’s gone by so fast! They’re only little once. 🙂
Hello! My potty training tip is to wait until they are 3. I am a doctor and a pediatrician told me once in traing that if you start at 2 they will be trained at 3. If you start at 3 they will be trained in 2 wks! Good luck…maybe just let is rest for now. You need mommy sleep and peace right now:)
Good feedback for sure … That is probably what will end up happening. =)
Sounds like things are busy! For diaper rash, I’ve had good results with plain cornstarch- really make a thick layer.
I taught preschool (12-36 month olds for 7 years) and here are some toileting tips.
– sometimes parents are ready before kids are.
– starting the day in novelty underwear and then changing to plain white ones after an accident
– not punishing children for accidents! There can be teachable moments (because learning how to maneuver pants and underwear is part of the process).
– Some children (particularly boys) do not gain control of the physical muscles until they are 3+; don’t rush.
– Cheerios! Put one or two in the toilet to aim for.
Cornstarch! You’re the second or third person to mention that. Probably is a good drying agent …
And you are so right. I am very ready for Jamisen to be potty trained. It is so crazy changing what seems to be a full grown boy while I have this tiny little baby to change too. =)
Kathy Schneider says
Cloth Diapers = NO diaper rash – do not be afraid – they are not that much trouble – 1 -2 loads of wash a week…what are 2 more loads – better for baby, environment, pocketbook!
I’ve heard that rumor re: diaper rash and cloth diapers. If I can’t get things sorted out, I’ll try that. I do have the cool flushable inserts for her but haven’t gone all the way with cloth.
Triple Paste for diaper rash. I was surprised to see only one other person suggested it (unless I missed some). I tried every cream on the market and this is the only one that worked for both my girls!!
I seriously hadn’t ever heard of it before! I’m going to be the diaper rash balm queen when this thread is all read and answered! I’ve been buying up the stores finding all these new ones.
Hang in there!! It gets better!! Jamisen is being a typical little toddler that has been king of the castle for so long and now having to share the spotlight and mommy & daddy with this little stranger…its perfectly normal and will even out as time goes on and he realizes she is here to stay and m & d still love him…my daughter was 6 when her brother was born and we went through some adjustments too…just be patient but firm and always consistent.
Congrats on your new addition…she is beautiful!!
BTW…I make a diaper cream that I created when my grandkids were born…they have never had a diaper rash…..be happy to share it with you. just e-mail me…[email protected]
Emailing you now! =)
Charna scarpati says
Omg Lily looks so cute. Jamisen is so cute and big.
What I did for my son when it came to potty training was put Cheerios in the toilet and told him to aim for the Cheerios as a target practice. After a few times he went and got the Cheerios before he went to the bathroom.
Cheerios seems like a winner judging on some of the comments my girlfriends have had for me about potty training boys …
Thanks for sharing your beautiful family with us. As for the diaper rash, put a little Lotrimin on before the desitin. A little tip I was given & it was a blessing worked every time.
I haven’t heard of Lotrimin before. I’ll look that up now… Thanks!
Lisa List says
Here’s a book that I read one time to my son when he was 25 months old and he was potty trained from that day forward and never once had an accident. I know…lucky me!! But since Jamison loves books it’s certainly worth a shot.
I’m a Big Boy Now
Heading to buy that book now. Thank you! He loves the other potty books I got from earlier in this thread and has me read them all the time.
Regarding diaper rash: ask your ped if it’s diaper rash or a yeast rash. If it’s yeast diaper creams won’t touch it. They can look very similar. If yeast, topical Micolog is what they used to RX. These days they might use OTC yeast creams. Airing works but often the organism must be eradicated with medicated cream or lotion or the problem may continue to resurface.
Re: tantrums: not one of my 4 kids ever threw a temper tantrum. I’m not lying or exaggerating. Never. However, if they had I would not have tolerated a screaming kid on the floor. A timeout chair or rug gives them a safe place to vent or be punished for hitting, biting or other actions you deem inappropriate. One minute for each year is plenty because they will hate being forced to stay there. They have lost control of the situation and they know it. At this age they are just starting to grasp the concept of THEMSELVES. Don’t leave them in timeout until they quit crying. They are not being punished for crying. Only for fit-throwing or other punishable offenses.
Use a timer. If you must hold them physically there, do so but make sure they do their time! After the bell sounds, allow them up, reiterate why they were punished and hug them and reassure your love for them. Do this and they will always know they are a worthy and loved.
One thing I always did was look directly into my kids’ eyes and TALK to them. Lower your voice a few octaves. This denotes seriousness. Look directly into their eyes and say something like: ” Stop that. Do NOT hit.”. No ” We do not hit” stuff. Put the responsibility on the child: “YOU do not hit/scream/( insert appropriate offense) lol
My kids came to know early on when my voice was lowered I meant business.
REWARD REWARD REWARD. And then reward some more. Verbally most of the time. Tangibly for great deeds ( potty training ESP) try to point out good acts and actions and make a huge deal if they respond appropriately when they normally would have responded inappropriately. Ex: Jamison! I noticed you did a great job when I asked you to pick your toys up. Thank you so much for helping Mommy!
I pretty much trained my kids and horses along the same concept: put the ball in their court and let them choose how to play it: if they obey they are rewarded; if not a negative consequence will occur. That makes them responsible for the outcome. “Jamison, please stop drawing on the table”. He can comply and get praised or resist and get time out. The choice is his. He will soon learn there are consequences to all actions, both good and bad.
When I first got my horse Avalon she was a real cow about trailering. She wasn’t afraid at all; just being stubborn. Now, there are entire 3-day clinics on how to get a horse to trailer ranging from horse whisperers to fancy rope work. But all of this still made trailering the trainers idea instead of the horse’s idea. Often the trailer would be driven out of the ring with the horse kicking the boards off the trailer! Nothing accomplished.
Avalon would wait until after a trail ride when I was tired and sore, walk right up to the back of the trailer and just stop with a ” Not now… Pencil me in next Friday to load” attitude.
Since I knew this was an attitude issue and not a fear issue I decided to put the ball in her court. We pulled the trailer to the barn on a day we were not riding. I filled my pockets with horse treats and walked her to the trailer. Sure enough she stopped and planted her feet. With NO change in my demeanor I quietly began backing her up hard and fast. Then I asked her to load again. She refused. More backing. On the fourth try she stepped up into the trailer. I lavished so much praise and cookies on her that you would have thought she had won the Kentucky Derby! I backed her out and she hopped right back in. More joyous shouts and cookies. From that time forward she never refused to load again, even during the SOCAL fires, when most other horses did refuse. I would always go around to her window and stick a cookie through the rails after they were tied and ready to go. Bribery? No way! She only got the cookie AFTER she was tied up.
She had been given a choice: load quietly and get a reward or refuse to load and Mom will back you up until the sun goes down.
Kids are the same. My kids knew that if they behaved in the store they could choose
one small toy or treat as a reward after shopping. If they misbehaved I would leave the cart where it stood, we would go home and they got nothing. It only took once for me to make good on my promise to leave and leave I did. They knew that I was as good as my word. They also knew that applied to reward as well as punishment. The ball was in THEIR court and they controlled the outcome of the game.
Every time I go to the store I hear parents make idle threats over and over until they fly off the handle and become mean or abusive or both. The child never knows if the threat is valid or even if it will be carried out at all. So they ignore the parent and hope for the best and continue their misbehavior, sometimes for nothing more than the attention it will bring. So sad. :((((
If you say it, MEAN IT. Your child will learn to trust your word to be fair and true!
Regarding potty training: trying to potty train a toddler after introducing a new baby is not only jumping into the fire but adding a few logs to make it burn hotter! Please do yourself and the entire gang a favor and lay that monster aside for a bit. Boys can be notoriously stubborn anyways. You will most likely be wiping his butt till he is 5 anyways!
When the household has settled, the baby is sleeping through the night and Jamison is comfortable in his new role as brother, you can begin. Each child is very different. Never allow anyone (not even parents!) to pressure you about potty training. The best way to be certain of failure is to feel pressured because if you do, it will get passed to Jamison. Punishment of any kind during potty training is a huge NO NO. It will turn into a huge power struggle and nobody will win, especially you.
When he’s ready start by letting him follow you and his dad into the bathroom if he doesn’t already. Sample script: “Look, Mommy/Daddy is going potty in the toilet, not in my pants! Big girls and boys go potty in the toilet. Babies like Lily potty in their diapers. Do you think you are ready to potty like a big boy?”
If he says no just repeat the same line every time he follows you, reinforcing how “big boys” go in the toilet and babies in a diaper. Don’t worry; he won’t think you are demeaning him because you are NOT calling him a baby; merely clarifying where big boys and babies go.
Whatever you do, once you are fully committed to potty training forget those silly pull ups which are nothing more than ginormous diapers and buy him some “super special” character big-boy pants. Nothing makes a statement quite like pee running down their legs and soaking pants. Night time pull ups are ok in the beginning.
Make a HUGE deal of it. Tell Grandma. Tell Grandpa. Tell the Aunties. Tell the Pope. Look…Jamison has big boy pants!!! See what a big boy he is? I wish I had some!!! This is especially helpful coming from Dad because let’s face it.. nothing dad is wearing will EVER compare with kid-themed underwear!
I sadly admit that in my attempt to make potty training fun I actually resorted to drawing targets on paper with red marker for my boys. I did need a lot of bathroom cleaner but they had a blast. If they hit the target they got a small prize. The chart system is great for older kids, but my experience has been that 2 and 3 year olds benefit much more from instant gratification because it’s difficult for most to conceptualize an accumulative chart system. Ok. I peed and Mommy stuck something on the wall vs. Ok I peed and I got a small toy or reward right after I did it. This means if I pee in the pot again another prize might materialize!
After a while you can switch to the chart but in the beginning I used actual small toys. Try to limit the “responsible” treats like raisins, toothbrushes, and boring stuff and get him some little cars, trucks, books, sand toys, and FUN stuff. Lol
If all else fails, drink a glass of wine, have some fine Brie cheese and a good foot massage and console yourself with the fact that your son WILL be trained.
PS: I think I wrote a book.
First of all, I love your “book”. It is LITERALLY everything I try to preach at my sweet husband (who is less boundary-oriented than I am). Kids do need boundaries (in my opinion) and need to know that what you mean goes, every single time. It’s so much easier to say “No” and mean it!
We did get the reward chart for Jamisen but that’s good feedback regarding instant gratification. Right now, we’re giving him yogurt covered pretzels for just telling us he pooped in his diaper so it will be easy to transition that to toilet training.
And I do have all these great books I’ve been saving for him for potty training but they might need to be saved for binky-fairy time instead! We shall see what their best and highest use ends up being. =)
That’s great that he is already telling you! Some kids don’t mind being dirty or wet and others detest it. Hopefully Jamison is the latter!
Thank goodness the time has come where people are much more sensible and relaxed. When my three oldest kids were born in 81, 84 and 85 people were still almost stuck in the Dark Ages regarding potty training. I knew one mother who began putting her 6 month old daughter on the pot. After 6 more months, the mother was remarkably well trained at knowing the times that her baby liked to pee and poop!
My motto was always this: a child is fully trained when they can articulate to you that they need to go and hold it long enough to get there at least 90% of the time.
My first daughter Nicole was a VERY odd baby. Almost TOO perfect. After a horrid pregnancy with my first son John that put me in the hospital for my 4th month from vomiting, and a delivery straight out of the movie Twilight that kept me hospitalized 3 weeks after the birth, I never even felt pregnant with her. Not one day of sickness.
After she was born I recovered fast, and she immediately adopted a 4-hour sleep schedule. She slept, woke, ate, pooped and slept again like clockwork. By 2 months she was sleeping all night. At 18 months she was speaking in sentences and practically trained herself to the regular toilet by watching me. She was also in regular undies at night at 18 months. She never whined, complained or made a peep except to always laugh and have a huge smile on her face.
Her sister Beth was around 3 and John 2 1/2 when they were pretty much trained.
When she became a teenager she tortured us mercilessly. Seems all good things do have their seasons! Haha
Advice on potty training was everywhere, even strangers at the market. They would see a two year old and ask reproachfully: ” He’s not trained YET?”. The old ladies were the worst, with their powdered cheeks and perfume reeking of the funeral parlor.
Everyone was certain a parent was somehow defective is their children were not peeing and pooping on cue. I was always a stubborn wench and delighted in ignoring them.
My mom says it was even worse when I was born in 63.
Laxatives, enemas, and pouring warm water over them to make them go were said to have been employed. Freud was probably just as likely to say: “Tell me about your potty training” as he was to say “Tell me about your muzzah”.
By the time my youngest son Dustin was born in 93 things had chilled out considerably, and from reading the comments of these other moms I am so happy that there is a much more relaxed attitude altogether. The children of this generation can only benefit from that.
Well, I will be 50 next month and my days of having babies are over. My kids are doing that at quite a miraculous rate as we await the birth of our 8th grandchild any day. But even though my body is shutting down in the baby department, there are those rare days when I am very sad I will never carry and raise another little person; days where I am a tiny bit sad and wistful and envious of every new mom and the first time she holds the tiny person who’s first home was directly under her heart.
Enjoy your little Lily-Bud and your rough little tumbleweed. As stressful and hectic as motherhood is, the day will come when you find you really MISS it.
Carol J says
I love seeing how the family is doing!
As to the diaper rash, my little Lia had a yeast infection diaper rash for the longest time. It turns out what finally got it to go away was daily, and sometimes more baths. Just a few minutes in the clean water with a gentle cleaning every day. Patted dry and applied a combo of Destin and P. jelly(or my own homemade petroleum jelly). It also helps to have on hand some dry washcloths or dried out wipies, to pat the tushie dry before putting on the diaper. My girl gets a lot more diaper rashes with the disposables than with the cloth.
*Sigh* Potty training is different with every kid. It is so good you have a lot of different methods to try from everyone. My #1 son, was so easy. Put him on the potty and he went. For him, bowel movements were the difficult thing. We ended up waving good bye each one. Really, he was easy to even night train. I got tired of putting a pullup on him every night and him waking up in the middle of the night in a puddle, so I just put him in underwear figuring that if I’m gonna clean up a mess any how. Who knew, he never made a mess again. Ever. Kinda spoiled me.
# 2 son was a monster. We won’t go there, it wasn’t pretty. # 3 son was easier. We had done some EC and some cloth diapering. It was just, putting him on the potty with a book and let him go or not. Just every so often, going to the potty with a book.
# 4 son, I got very lazy. He is three and I still haven’t potty trained him yet. We let him pick out his very own big boy underwear. He is very excited to wear those little character underwear. We told him, now he is a big boy and big boys go in the potty not in the underwear. So we are just taking the time to take him to the potty and cleaning up messes. But he doesn’t get to wear pull ups anymore, only at night. We’ve concentrated on this all day and at the end of it, he grabbed his older brother to go to the potty with him. It was worth the messes to see him get it. One time, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I hope my daughter is easier to potty train. I think I will go back to doing some EC with her. (EC is Elimination Communication) I know that was a little long, but I hope it helps somewhat. LOL, just try to get him to the potty consistently.
You are a saint with that many kids. I am still in the fog of it and can’t imagine adding another to our family.
This is all wonderful feedback. Lily is a textbook, model baby. I’m betting she’ll be like your first son and totally spoil me. Jamisen has a very strong willed stubborn streak in him (that he got from me, sadly) and I’m going to just wait a little bit (this thread has definitely proven to me that’s the wise choice) and then start with the bribing and charts and the underwear shopping. =)
Good luck with your daughter. I hear EC is genius but I’ve never had the patience … nor the time at home to work on it! I’m constantly shuttling Lily between Bramble Berry and home right now. =)
ROFL on the Cheerios and Fruit Loops in the toilet! I wish that idea had been in circulation when my little guy was potty training, but then knowing him he would have just raised his eyebrow at me in disdain. On, potty training, dad should be primary here in teaching (model by example, lol!). I potty trained my son when he was 2 1/2 only because he decided to change his own diaper one day- arghhhhhhh! He didn’t like the feel of poo poo on his bottom and so took care of the problem himself. I had to wash the sheets, clean the floor, etc. etc. I then told him if he was big enough to change his diaper, he was big enough to use the toilet, and he did! My daughter on the other hand resisted any attempts at potty training, so I let it go. Then we went on a LONG road trip and she decided she was ready! Every rest stop that came up- I have to go mommy! Double arghhhhhhh! I’m sure you will have your own hilarious stories to tell other new mothers in a few years. Enjoy the ride!!
I guess that’s how my folks trained my brother too! Cheerios. =)
Jamisen HATES getting his diaper changed so I keep trying to push the idea of “You wouldn’t have diaper changes” and of course, there is the bribing. That is SO happening.
Oh! The diaper rash, sorry. . . . that’s the worst esp. When they are so small. A previous commenter suggested change diap brands and see if it helps I second that and if you are using wipes with any alcohol, fragrances etc switch to plain. Yes the butt paste can help or a few friends have had success with a tad or witch hazel dabbed on at changing time but check with your Dr. I don’t think any of them were trying it on a baby so small so I would want to know it was ok for that age before trying. Again, good luck!!
I literally have gone hogwild on diaper rash creams – every single one recommended in this blog post is now in my possession AND I’m creating one that I’ll eventually share here (hopefully). =)
Molly B says
When my mom was potty training my little brother, she had several approaches. For number 1’s, she got a little sticker with an octopus and a bullseye on it and put it in the toilet bowl. This help with peeing. With number 2, it’s a littler harder since they have to be at the point where they can recognize the feeling that they have to go. And with any success potty use, my mom kept stashes of toys (cheapy ones from like.. the dollar store) and we got one every time we went. We could also opt for a gold star and with x amount of stars we got to get a happy meal or something a little more substantial.
I have gotten a chart. I got matchbox trucks. I have some books for him for the ‘big’ prizes. I am totally all set with the bribes … the second Jamisen decides that he wants to show any interest in potty training. Hopefully soon …
Thank you so much for sharing! What amazingly cute little ones you have! And about the tantrums, I can totally relate. I have only one (she just turned 3 last month) and shes really um, determined, verbal, wants choices about everything, EVERYTHING, can’t believe when we are too busy to hear her dissertaiton about why a certain thing should have been done a certain way. I can only imagine with a new baby the energy you are putting in right now. . . . . Go super soaping Mama! And on days when it all feels like it is too much. . . just know you are not alone. Breathe and know we all have rough times, too much to do, and feel just a teeny bit irritated. . . you are not alone.
Potty training? I’m no guru, but I’ve helped a number of small ones through the process. Is he showing interest? For mine, yes we did the timer, the potty chart (we let her help us draw each chart, ,starting with 3 stickers to get a small, dollar store prize or something, then moving to 5 stickers, 7 etc. . . . currently on 12 per prize). We used items we knew she loved and also let her come on shopping trips with us to stock the prize bag. She was really into “having big girl underwear” so I let her come to store n pick some out with me, then let her wear them. At first she just got stickers for having dry underwear and trying on the potty. There were a few accidents yes, just clean up calmly and say we can try again no big deal. Yes it takes a lot of effort when you are doing the timer, keeping an eye on them as they are learning, doing stickers, having them help with the chart etc. It is not easy! So since you have baby, if you are going to work on potty training a lot right now, if Grandma or Daddy could be in charge of that while you have baby and continue to deal with business, all other Mommy stuff, all of us, etc???
Or if you just want to skip the timer for now and underwear, keep it simple at first and give him chances to earn just for trying throughout the day, at times you are able to help him . . . you can do the sticker chart or starting out, you can offer a small reward. . . . stickers to play with, a favorite show on TV, something immediate he can connect to and make potty time fun then make it more involved a bit later and when you have a little more time.
As for mine -Some days she showed no interest at all in the process, some days she woke up early and yelled “I’m ready for my underwear! I want to go in the potty!!” We just take it day by day and motivate as we can and take the successes where we can. Good luck!!!
Someone else mentioned the whole “let them buy their own underwear” idea and I’m completely going to incorporate that. And, I am also going to add in a massive dose of patience. If he’s not ready to potty train, I will just hold my nose and hope he doesn’t blow out any diapers. I swear, his diapers are straining at the seams … =)
Congrats on the beautiful family!
Re the tantrums: It’s normal behavior for Jamisen’s age — although not acceptable. He may have escalated because his whole world has been rocked with the arrival of his baby sister. Whatever you decide to do about it (I prefer ignoring), consistency is the key. Both you and your hubby have to be on the same page with this.
Re potty training: Boys sometimes aren’t ready until they’re around three years old, so if he’s made no indications at all that he’s ready, I wouldn’t even start right now. I “potty trained” my eldest, and it was a nightmare until I realized he just wasn’t ready. With my youngest, I decided I wasn’t going anywhere near potty training. I just sent him in with his older brother or his dad, and waited for him to want to be a “big boy.” Didn’t take long.
Draw a colorful target on a piece of toilet paper, and pop in the toilet for “target practice.” It helps with the inevitable aiming problem. 😉 Then learn the location of every bathroom in town. If your son is anything like mine, he’ll visit every single one of them in the next year. 😀
I have to agree with the above poster. He has to be ready to potty train…otherwise you are in for a nightmare. I have four grown children and the worst was the 1st one (now 25). I just tried too early and he had a sister 18 months younger. It is not worth the aggravation!(especially with a newborn in tow).
The biggest thing that helped me was a controlled potty training weekend. We had some juice/water, etc. then 1/2 later we sat on the potty. Repeat. Lots of praise/attention/clapping etc. when successful. AND…everyone involved in the process has to be on board. I.E. I was working full time, so daycare had to be involved as well. It has to be consistent. No reason to take him to the potty when others will not take the time.
I’m not a big fan of nightmare potty training times! I spent a lot of time reading up on potty training this morning while feeding baby Lily and they were all universal: wait, wait, wait.
We did manage to get his little pants off to run around the yard naked (it’s a private yard!) because someone else suggested that so I’m excited about that improvement. =)
My second child used to get horrid rashes. On a routin visit to the doctor she had one and turns out it was actually a type of yeast infection. They gave me some medicated cream and she was good as new in no time. The doctor said she had probably developed the rash because she also had a bad case of thrush (which she transfered to my breasts. Not fun). With regular rashes my favorite cream was A&D Cream.
As far as the potty training goes I pushed my first to do it. Turns out that was a terrible idea. She wasn’t fully potty trained until 5 years old. My next two though, I let them tell me when they were ready. I took them to pick out underwear at 2 years old but only put them in them when they wanted to wear them. Needless to say, they were potty trained within 2 weeks of buying the new undies. And no accidents to speak of after that. I plan to do the same thing with my now 8 month old when the time comes. Just be patient and it will happen. Each child is different so there’s no one solution fits all.
Oh, I’ve heard horrible things about thrush (knocking on wood right now).
Love the idea of letting Jamisen buy his own underwear! That is genius!!! I’m totally going to try that.
Cyndi Carrasco says
Hi Anne-Marie! Stay encouraged! =) Jamison is doing great. I hope I don’t get kicked for this, but I can totally relate to your situation. When my Gigi was 28 months old, her sister Chloe came along. Gigi was wonderful with her. I had tried to potty train Gigi before Chloe came along so that I wouldn’t have 2 little ones in diapers, but guess what? Gigi totally regressed. She just started having accidents and refused. So, I decided that I would just not push Gigi and give her time. I didn’t have time to be consistent with her. Breastfeeding Chloe and a c-section was not easy to handle. At that time my son was 7, so my hands were full with homeschooling as well. Why stress! Gigi was completely potty trained at 3! But, I didn’t stress about it and it literally happened in a day! Enjoy both of them. Hoping you the best!
Jamisen is not showing any signs of wanting to potty train so we decided last night that we were going to just hang tight for another month and then see how it goes. Honestly, his diapers are soooooo epic that I’m not sure we can hold on much longer!
Adorable babies! I didn’t rush my son thru potty training, so he was about 4 months away from turning 3 when he finally got it. I bribed him with chocolate. Every time he went I’d give him half a square of Hershey’s chocolate. He was potty trained in two weeks.
Bribing seems to be a common theme … I’m so okay with that too!
anne marie you have beautiful children! for the moment i would put off potty trainig while baby lily is still adjusting to sleeping regularly, also if jamisen hasnt shown an interest it will just make the process a lot harder on everyone.as for the diaper rash i found that tripple paste worked wonders on both my sons difficult to treat rashes.best of luck
Ha ha! Sleeping regularly? Pretty sure that’s a fantasy with little babies but she is lengthening out her stretches right now which is so wonderful.
Stacey H. says
I forgot to add something to my previous post too – a thin layer of Baby Aquaphor also provides a great protective barrier to the diaper rash dilemma.
Oh really? So over or under the cream? Or in place of it? I’ve been trying “Gloves in a Bottle” and that seems to help …
Stacey H. says
I use the baby Aquaphor over the Butt Paste so that it helps to keep the moisture off of the active ingredients in the cream. I also use it alone in the first few days after the rash has cleared just to provide a little extra break from anything touching the skin directly and possibly causing a piggyback rash.
Laura J says
Madeon rash cream is supposed to be very good. I haven’t used it, but love their hard lotion bar! (hard lotion.com)Many boys are not ready until they are almost three. Patience until then will be the biggest help. Your little guy is getting used to a new show stealer and will need extra time & attention. Lily is charming.
I have never heard of that brand. I’ll check it out! I also need to create one. I’m really close with a modified beeswax/jojoba mixture right now that has zinc oxide and Lavender EO.
Stacey H. says
Loved reading the update on your family….how fun.
Like a lot of the others posting, I think Butt Paste was about the only thing that worked for my sons diaper rashes beyond what was prescribed by their pediatrician….the prescription formula took it away within a matter of hours, so maybe that might be an option too? I have also heard that diaper rash is not always caused by wet diapers but rather changes in the food they’re getting – i.e. perhaps the milk is a little more acidic and she’s adjusting to its changes.
For the potty training, my son’s behaviorist (he is autistic) made us use something (in his case, circus cookies) he absolutely LOVED as a reward…but made sure that he only received that reward for going potty and at no other time. It was strictly for potty-time only. And I’d agree LOTS of happy attention/making a BIG deal of it for when he does use it properly…it’s also a great reinforcer.
And lastly, only because my kids are special needs, that I throw this in: milestone guidelines are great as a reference but don’t get discouraged or frustrated if your beautiful kids aren’t “keeping up” with what the books say…they will do everything in their own time, when they are fully ready. Once that little switch is flicked on in their little brains, they’ll get it…and trust me, they will get it 😉
Keep us in the loop with how it goes! Love the stories 🙂
I must find this Butt Paste! =) I’m not much of a shopper but I’ll venture to Target for this miracle cream.
Our Dr. suggested I lay off on dairy so I will try that suggestion.
Really think your idea about potty training ONLY treats is spectacular. Jamisen doesn’t get any sugar or sweets at home (I wish I could say the same for his preschool!) so he is obsessed with yogurt covered pretzels! =) Good idea.
As for milestone guidelines, Jamisen has hit all of the milestone guidelines at the top end, the very end, of when the range was so I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re very right about that.
Darling, this is a horrible time to start anything “new” with baby Jamisen…..I am a mama to 4 grown babies…My experience has been that every time we added a new precious member to the family, all the preceding precious members retreated into “baby” behavior for a short time…..While extremely stressful to Mommy, and Daddy, it is pretty short lived…Patience grasshopper…. <3 ….. it will be fine….Best wishes….:) You have a lovely family
Totally agree! We called the birth of a new baby the “invasion of the mommy snatcher” for the older sibling(s). It can be a very disruptive time for their young lives. It’s hard transitioning from an only child to that of a big brother.
How long do you think we should wait until after the birth of Miss Lily to try the potty training thing?
I remember from a psych class about a million years ago, that when people are asked “what is your first memory” they often report the birth of a sibling. It’s a big deal to go from the only to the big brother. You can probably expect a bit of regression as he tries to get more of your attention, now that it’s divided. It will pass. No help on the potty training, except that I know from my friends that every kid is different and there is no one right answer (or age). Good luck. Lily is adorable.
Thanks; we think she’s adorable too!
We have noticed a little bit of regression with him and he’s definitely more cuddly. I’m looking forward to taking him out on Mommy and Me dates when I’m not quite as tethered to Lily (literally, cannot be away for longer than 90 minutes still). I think that will be fun and that those will help us both. I’m guessing I’ll be able to do that in about 2 more months =)
Jennifer Pickens says
My grandson had a very stubborn case of diaper rash and we tried all sorts of things, even prescription creams. Finally her midwife suggested giving him a few drops of acidophilus twice day and it cleared up pretty quick. Check with your doctor first though and find a reputable brand. Both kids are adorable.
We have her on probiotics because she was a c-section baby (there’s new data coming out that if you don’t have a traditional birth that the babies don’t have all the healthy bacteria in their gut that they need to thrive) so I would hate to see what she would be like without it!
My first daughter had such horrible chronic diaper rash that I ended up using cloth for her younger sisters. Even with super-sensitive skin we avoided rashes almost entirely while using cloth.
As for potty training, my kids have done it as early as 2 1/2 and as late as 3 1/2. Depends on the personality and the willingness of the child, I’d say.
Oh that’s interesting! So far, Seventh Generation Disposables have been the best for us but that’s good feedback re: cloth.
I don’t want to be overly dramatic but if I had to wait until Jamisen was 3 1/2 to potty train, I might go insane. I’m pretty sure they don’t make diapers that big even!
Try drying her bottom with a hair dryer on the cool setting between diaper changes. I always used Weleda baby cream when my kids were babies. For some reason it helped keep the poops from sticking to their skin. It made for less friction when cleaning them up.
I haven’t tried that brand either! So many new brands to try from this post. Thanks for the hint.
Barb Hefte says
I have a recipe for a medicated type powder similar to Caldesene that my daughter uses on my grandson and she loves it. If you would like the recipe I would gladly share it with you message me on my facebook page called Cheeky Chickadee Creations. The ingredients were purchased through Bramble Berry so I know you have access to them.
Messaging you now! =)
Janet B says
We had horrible rashes with my son. Only thing that worked was a constant thick application of desitin and a liberal coating of cornstarch over that. You may also be able to find something called Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. That worked well, also. We still did the cornstarch topper. And agreeing with the comments that the diapers may be causing it as well. Also, it could be the heat, just a thought.
I see a lot of good suggestions with the potty training, but the thing that worked best for both of my kids was letting them run around totally naked. Sounds strange, but it seemed to help them “click” the feeling to the action and know where they were supposed to go if they felt it. You do need to make sure they know where the potty is, and what it is for.
Cornstarch over it? Oh that’s interesting. That must seal it in well.
I haven’t gotten Jamisen to agree to take his clothes off in the yard yet but … it’s just a matter of time. =)
for the rash if you want a thick cream,try the Burt’s Bees diaper rash cream. I sent it to a friend in Australia and she said it cleared up the rash where the Desitin did not. Also if you’re into trying cow creams, Udderly Smooth is probably better then Bag Balm – Bag Balm leaves a slight sting on iritations, probably not good for already sensitive areas. 🙁
A couple things for boys for training them to use the toilet – consider starting by teaching Jamisen to sit down for both #1 and #2. Showing boys one way until they understand will be easier on both you and your husband, and make it easier on Jamisen to understand what the toilet is for and how to use it. Chris can show Jamisen how big boys pee standing up sometime after he gets the hang of using the toilet regularly.
Also, throw Cheerios in the toilet, even the baby toilet, and try to get him to aim his stream at them. Boys love this game! It’s a reward within itself, but optionally you can give him a reward when most of his pee stays in the toilet. good luck!
Oh really?! That’s good to know. I’m sure they sell that at some of the stores around here. Great suggestion. I should probably work on making my own too… =)
Do you think that we should try the baby toilet first and then move up to the big boy toilet or just go straight for the big boy (adult) toilet?
tiffany m says
When it came time to potty train my son, I had to find a way to make it fun and easy. I would put a few froot loops into the toilet and he would try to hit all the loops. It wasn’t long before he started to do it on his own.
Did you do a little kid’s toilet or an adult toilet for that? If adult, did you do step stool?
Try butt paste for the diaper rash. It works wonders. You can find it at target and walmart. They also make a natural version of it.
I’ve heard of it but haven’t tried it yet! I’m kicking myself because I was at Fred Meyers this very morning and didn’t pick it up …
Karen Pettinger says
Awww, Anne-Marie, you have beautiful kids! Temper tantrums can suck the life right out of the parents. Take heart. They don’t last forever. Potty training is such an individual thing, and every child is different. What works for one may not work for another. Two year olds are not the most reasonable people on the planet, so you will have to find something that means something to him. Books might indeed work as a reward for your little fella. All the best in that little project!
The 2 year old’s temper tantrums definitely irritate me but they don’t break my heart like my little newborns cries do. I know he has a choice; the newborn doesn’t. I’m going to try bribing … soon! =)
I tried the kitchen timer technique when potty training my daughter. Set the timer every 20-30 minutes, take him to the potty to sit down for a few minutes, make a biiig deal about it. Eventually he will go on one of those trips, and both of you will go nuts and have a happy dance. The only thing is, you really have to devote a few days to this routine and basically nothing else. My daughter caught on very quickly. My mother told me she potty trained my brother with Cheerios- throw some in the potty, have him “aim” for the Cheerios, make it a game. (Wow, I’m so glad I had a girl!) Good luck! Your children are so beautiful!
So, take off his diaper and just sit him down? We could try that for sure. Though, he is a fastidious little boy (hates having dirty hands, loves cleaning up messes etc…) and hates not having clothes on (seriously, what boy doesn’t love to run around naked? Ours!) =)
Both children are adorable.
1. in re to the rash on Lily – we found some diapers caused it; perhaps change brands
2. I had my son “hit the paper” when I was urine training him (a small piece of toilet paper or brightly colored tissue paper)
Good Luck – hope the sleep schedule stablizes soon.
That is a great suggestion. I read this right after you posted it and immediately went out and bought three brands of diapers! =) So, now I switch her diaper brand every change and I swear, that’s helping. Thank you for that suggestion.
Did you train your little guy in an adult toilet or in a kid’s toilet? We have both and I’m not sure which way to go.
Oh my, she is a stinkin’ cutie! I have a 2 month old and a 2 1/2 year old. He loves his little sister, but he is having the same problems with fits! For the most part, I ignore him when he’s doing it. I won’t look at him, but I say things like “oh, its too bad that Hayden is screaming, I can’t understand him when he screams” or “I sure do wish I had my sweet boy to (pick something fun) with.” He keeps coming up with new things that he wants or doesn’t want, but I ignore him. As soon as he calms down or takes even the slightest break from crying, I swoop in and give him lots of love. If he starts again, I go back to ignoring him.
For potty training, I did it last August because I was pregnant and didn’t want to do diapers for two. I used a method called “Potty Training Boot Camp.” It takes three days of indoors only and lots of attention. From there, it is just reminding and celebrating. It worked great for him! Good luck 🙂
Oh, I like the “I wish I had my sweet Jamisen back to do XYZ with”. I generally ignore the temper tantrums entirely (that’s me; his Dad is a bit of a pushover!) =)
I’ve heard of Potty Training Boot Camp. So, you’d recommend it then?
I don’t know what the Potty Training Boot Camp is, never heard of it though.
I’ve raised four children, three of which are grown one in middle school. None of them were the same with potty training. Every child is different, go with your gut. Some are easier than others. It just takes time 🙂
Oh and your children are absolutely beautiful!
I had my daughter fully potty trained in a little more than a month using a sticker chart 🙂 I bought stickers, crayons and a poster board from the dollar store and she helped me decorate it. It looked like a giant pink and purple board game when we were done, with a diaper at the start and a potty at the end. She got to choose a sticker every time she went potty. Every 5 spaces (there were more than 50 spaces total) was marked “prize!” and she would get to choose a prize from a basket full of dollar store books and toys. When she got to the end, she got to choose either a $10 prize or a special craft project. It took 2 times through the chart, but it worked great and she loved it! 🙂 When she was completely done with potty training, we threw her a “big girl potty party” complete with her favorite food (mac n’ cheese w/ veggies), cake, ice cream and a new Disney movie. Word of advice if you go this route: take a little notebook with you when you leave the house so you can keep track of any stickers earned while away.
Great idea! I just went and downloaded this one: http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/graphics/00000001/Learning%20Curve/PottyChart_thomas_01.pdf because Jamisen is obsessed with trains. Trains! Trains! =)
I just ordered a bunch of ‘train’ books and purchased some little matchbox trucks too for the “dollar store” bin for the 5-sticker.
I would love to get him potty trained; he’s starting to get diaper rashes too because he doesn’t tell us when he goes … probably a familiar thing for many parents out there.
Michelle Gambler says
In regards to the diaper rash, look for a product called Bag Balm. Comes in a green Tin. Here in Florida I can only find it at Walgreens where lotions and creams are. Used it for my son and now granddaughter. Cleared up my son, granddaughter has yet to have one using this.
Oh I’ve seen that! I wonder if it’s the powerful essential oils in it? Thanks for the hint.
Bag balm is great stuff! It was originally made for cows udders. it is half petroleum jelly half lanolin with sulphur added. Well that doesn’t make 100% but anyway that is what is in it. It has been around for over 100 years. http://www.bagbalm.com/
here’s the site. It’s really great stuff!
Jean Horn says
Thanks so much for sharing your lovely family with us. Does Jamisen look more grown up now that Lily has come along? They are both adorable 🙂
Oh he does! He is so grown up looking (sounding and acting). It’s crazy to have an infant that can’t even grab things =)